sex and the salt lake city

I would try to start this post with something punny if I were sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw, but alas I am not.  

Sex and the City has become my all-time favorite television show.  I saw the movie last summer, and surprisingly liked it.  I was touched most by the love I saw between Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha--girlfriends extraordinaires.  Then, during my last semester at BYU, I began watching the TV version, then the DVD version of the series--and my life changed.  SATC provided much-needed catharsis and got me through those last lonely months at school.  

Like any fan, I took a few of the "Which Sex and the City character are you?" quizzes and the most reliable results put me as being about half Miranda and half Charlotte.  Which works.  I do have a practical side when it comes to relationships, at times trying to quell my feelings for someone because they are inconvenient and/or irrational.  Yet I am also the idealistic Charlotte, who after a successful outing with a man exclaims, "Maybe he's THE ONE!"  And while I might fit more comfortably in a Miranda or Charlotte role, I suppose I still aspire to be like the Queen of Sex herself, Samantha.  Avoiding commitment at every turn, she goes from one man to another, like the libidinous sybarite she is.  "It's just sex," she says.  

Samantha Jones has been the patron saint of my summer.  This is because I have a tendency toward monogamy, which probably comes from my upbringing, especially my strictly repressed sexual past.  With girls, who I was never attracted to or interested in, it was fine to go on a date with one girl one week and another the next week.  All in good fun, right?  However, my track record with men is that if I go on a couple good dates with a guy, we end up dating for however long.  That is not to say that I did not enjoy dating who I did in the past--and I am still friends with all of them and care about each of them.  But after all, I am 24, and have only gone out with a handful of men.  Yet there are so many men out there!  So many people to meet!  And at this point in my life I have felt the need to put myself out there and meet a lot of people, dating men with the same frequency and variety that I dated women, and just having a good time. Other factors in this include the fact that I am only in Utah for a couple more months, after which I move to Colorado, so I don't really want a serious relationship at this point.  And so to change things up and try a new approach, I took Samantha for my role model.

It began by finally signing up on Connexion, a networking website for LGB people.  I have many friends on it, but have also met several people on it who I have gone out on dates with.  Some were good, some were mediocre.  I would say that none were bad--no creepers and no jerks.  It has felt so good to be excited to go on a date, and not feel any fear of being seen or discovered.  I am finally able to again enjoy the dating scene--this time with the gender I am attracted to.  

However, I am afraid I am having a hard time sustaining the Samantha in me (probably because there is none), and I find myself sinking back into monogamy.  As much as I admire her, I don't think Samantha and I are compatible.  The Charlotte in me longs for the commitment, stability, and romance of a relationship.  Even if it's a short-term one.  And though nothing is for certain at this point, I have started seeing someone, and I recognize the old patterns returning.  If I enjoy being with someone who I am attracted to, why would I still go out with other people?  That seems to be the rhetorical question I ask myself to justify my monogamous habit, and though I would hate to admit it to Samantha, I think I am slipping back to my old ways.  

So there you have it.  Instead of a glamorous life of one night stands and hordes of lovers, I am most likely doomed to have short- and long-term monogamous relationships, full of commitment, stability, and romance.  And who knows, maybe I will even find "The One."