Tuesday, October 16, 2012

apparently i am quite the little determinist


The tension between a belief in free will or determinism can be found in many professions, religions, and cultures.  The assumption of either is fundamental to our understanding of why people behave, think, and feel the way they do, and how to address problematic behavior and bring about positive change in people’s lives.  My knowledge and understanding gained through the study of psychology has had a great influence on my personal assumption of determinism in every aspect of the human experience.  I will use a biopsychosocial framework to illustrate how human behavior, cognition, and affect can be explained from a deterministic stance, as can theories of change and modification of each of those aspects. 
Scientific research on the influence of human biology on behavior is extensive, and points to biological processes being an important piece of understanding and addressing behavioral change.  Genetic research, in particular, has offered an explanation for many of the physical and even psychiatric conditions that exist in human beings.  We know that along with conditions such as Huntington’s disease, Alzheimer’s, and spina bifida, other conditions such as depression, anxiety, ADHD, and schizophrenia have a large heritable component.  By having a genetically-related individual who has one of these conditions, one’s risk of developing the same condition increases markedly.  A significant portion of the variance in intelligence and personality are also genetic.  Furthermore, biology outlines the potential for change as well as the limitations or barriers of change.  A person with a physical disability is limited by her or his biology, and change may not occur at the level of changing biology.  One might say that a person’s life trajectory is determined in part by the opportunities and limitations that their body (including their genes) offers them.   One cannot “will” themselves to be taller, faster, or more intelligent.  The constraints of biology are always present when considering the ways a person might change over the lifespan.
Libertarians assert that whatever the limitations placed on a person by the body and its biology, humans have freedom to make choices and depart from previously determined paths simply because there is some part of them that is spontaneous and not bound to deterministic factors.  However, much of what we know about introspection, memory, and learning (hence behavioral change) points to the great fallibility of the human mind in its attribution of free will and choice.  Research shows that people are not good at predicting how they will behave in the future, and that their memory of the past is always subject to distortion and selection.  Because people cannot get outside of their subjective experience, it is not always possible for them to know the reasons behind their actions.  The role of the psyche is to make meaning of, to interpret, and to process the environmental surroundings.   The ways it does this are due in large part to conditioned thoughts, values, and assumptions about the world, and are not active choices untethered to the natural context. 
Libertarians acknowledge the role of biology and the social environment on human behavior, but allow some space for spontaneity and free will.  In an article entitled “The Unbearable Automaticity of Being,” Bargh and Chartrand (1999) showed that much of our life experience is based on conditioned, automatic responses to the various stimuli we encounter.  They contend that we function automatically most of the time in order to have energetic reserves for the instances where we actually do have the freedom to choose.   I assert that any instances of “free will” exist in a specific context that must have allowed that sense of “free will” to occur, and therefore the supposed windows of free will are in themselves determined. 
Finally, the social and cultural environment has been shown by social psychological research to greatly determine human behavior.  Principles like social facilitation/loafing, groupthink, diffusion of responsibility, and deindividuation have been demonstrated by large amounts of empirical research, and point to the unconscious influence that the presence of others has on our behavior.  People work more or less, endorse horrific philosophies, fail to help others in need, and experience a decreased sense of self simply because of group processes impacting the individual.  In addition, there is a certain amount of cultural determinism in people’s lives.  By virtue of where a person is born and raised, she or he will hold certain beliefs and experience particular aspects of the world that would not occur in another place or time.  We are, in large part, products of our culture. 
It makes sense that people hold on to an idea of free will, because it is empowering, comforting, and consistent with everyday experience.  However, there is no way to rule out causal forces behind every thought and behavior, and there is no way to empirically prove freedom of choice.  Therefore, it appears that the best accounting of human behavior results in an acknowledgment of the known and unknown determinants that lie behind all we see and experience in the world.

Monday, July 18, 2011

i have a major intellectual crush on bell hooks

a friend recently directed me to youtube videos of her cultural criticism and transformation, which i thoroughly enjoyed as a commentary of how race, sex, and class are portrayed in popular media. i eat this stuff up. :)

click the link and watch, if you feel so inclined!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

calling all gays! stop the woman-hating...

I've noticed it more and more lately. Comments about girls being gross, "no vaginas allowed" proclamations at a party, references to "axe wounds," and conversations about "scary lesbians".

The misogyny of gay male culture has caught my attention in a way that has both shamed me and provoked me to be more outspoken against anti-woman, anti-lesbian, and anti-feminine comments I hear from those around me, non-hetero and hetero alike. It's not fun knowing that I have, at times, actively participated in such conversations, and made those comments. The feeling is similar to the regret I feel about the homophobic statements I made in high school when I was a fearful, closeted, self-hating gay kid. Because of that, I like to think this newfound awareness of anti-woman comments is a positive sign of my own maturing and expanding understanding of the world around me and how I participate in it.

With the release of Katy Perry's song "E.T.," I found myself enjoying the beat and the music until I listened to the lyrics. Suddenly, I realized that I could not support a song where a woman sings about wanting to be "a victim," "infected," and filled with poison. However, many of my gay friends who adore the pop princess have been dismissive of my opposition. Sure, it's a small example, but as a self-identified lover of pop culture, I struggle with many of the messages that pop culture advocates that I ultimately don't.

A large part of my cognitive dissonance regarding anti-lesbian rhetoric has emerged from my close friendships with several queer women who I love dearly, and who are not "scary." They are sensitive, strong, intelligent, beautiful women who may fit some lesbian stereotypes, but who are obviously so much more (just as I may embody many stereotypes of gay men, but exceed those stereotypes to become--guess who?!--me!).

By definition, gay men don't "like" women. We're not attracted to them, we don't want to marry them, and we don't want to have sex with them. We "like" men of course! However, I believe there is no place for making condescending or derogatory comments about women. This extends to all negativity toward the "feminine," which comes up in comments about "queeny" or "femmy" men. There is a definite hierarchy that is somehow understood by gay men that the "masculine" ones are somehow better than the "fems." It's everywhere on hookup sites and gay personals: "masc only," "no fems."

I post this in the hopes of holding myself to a higher standard in terms of my words and actions, in order to be more in line with my own values. I believe that when we become more aware of the impact our words have, and reclaim our responsibility over them, we do good to ourselves and to all those around us.

"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it." -Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II

Saturday, February 26, 2011

professional/personal ponderings

The other day at the counseling center, while visiting with my clinical supervisor from last semester, I was approached by a senior staff member who asked me if she could briefly consult with me about something. She proceeded to explain that she was seeing a gay-identified client who was struggling with a relationship, and expressed ambivalence about keeping the client or referring him to a gay-identified therapist, such as myself. She asked me, "How do you feel about being called 'the gay therapist'?" Taken aback, I was about to answer when suddenly my current supervisor walked into the room, and I was suddenly surrounded by past and current superiors.

I felt the wheels of my mind spinning, trying to negotiate the power differentials, the sexual orientation differentials, and the flattery, as well as the tokenization, of being asked such a question. Finally, I responded. My answer is not so important as the effect of having to produce an answer, and the broader issues connected to this experience.

This situation was the first significant time I was approached about the connection between my professional identity and my sexual identity. How do I feel about being called "the gay therapist?" It's a question I have thrown around within myself since I took on the role of a therapist. Even earlier, as I started my program, I asked myself, "How do I feel about being 'the gay psychologist'?" Navigating the realities of being a developing psychologist and psychotherapist has been challenging, yet quite meaningful to me. My advisor explained to me at the outset that it was my choice on how much to include my personal identity in my professional activities. She explained that she knows LGBTQ-identified psychologists (researchers and practitioners) who make all of their work LGBTQ-related. At the same time, she knows others whose professional interests are completely unrelated to their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Since that discussion, I have pondered many times what balance I seek to achieve in my life. Thus far, I have arrived at some tentative conclusions, though they are certainly subject to change as I gain more experience.

First of all, I see my professional work as my activism. My research interests are geared toward the clarification and deconstruction of oppressive systems and ideologies, and emancipation and affirmation of marginalized groups. Whether as a researcher, teacher, or clinician, I strive to be aware of ways I can accomplish these goals.

Yet as strongly as I feel about that activist spirit, I also desire both professional and personal balance, recognizing that I have many other goals and interests that lie outside of LGBT-related issues. Thus part of my process has been to develop as a well-rounded researcher, teacher, and clinician. Yes, my being gay allows me a perhaps privileged and unique perspective on issues surrounding sexual minorities. However, I don't want to see LGBTQ clients exclusively, and don't want to research only LGBTQ-related topics. I feel that to send such clients to therapists with the same gender identity experience or sexual orientation ghettoizes those populations, and does a disservice to both clients and clinicians alike. A better approach, I believe, acknowledges uniqueness while also affirming the commonalities that exist between all of us. People of all sexual orientations, ethnicities, ages, body types, gender identities, etc. have relationship issues, which are largely similar in nature and understandable by any well-intentioned and empathic therapist. While I would love to see LGBTQ-identified clients, I would also like to put forth that any competent therapist should be able to help those individuals, and that I as a gay man and a "gay psychologist" am perhaps no better suited to help them.

The short answer is: No, I don't mind being referred to as a "gay-identified therapist" if that would benefit a client and if I could provide some unique service or perspective because of my own identity. However, I believe that a greater, and higher, principle is to appreciate the commonalities between all people, and to do our best to be affirming and understanding of people who are different from us, since that is the way life works.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

finding my spiritual home: part 3


I didn't intend to write a "part 3." But I have had somewhat of a reawakening these past couple months, which I feel the need to share and process through writing.

One evening in May, I went to an impromptu gathering at the Geller Center for Spiritual Development (which I began attending last fall semester). The guest speaker was a wonderful woman with such a light spirit, and wonderful spiritual knowledge and insights to share. I really felt a connection to her, and to the words she used, because they were the words I had begun using to describe my spiritual experiences and my spiritual awareness. That night, I was reminded of the incredible spiritual experiences I have had throughout my life. I had been feeling somewhat distant from that part of myself for a few months, and that night I felt a rekindled desire to learn to use my spiritual gifts for my good and the good of others.

Throughout my life, I believe certain people have been placed in my life as guides and sources of knowledge who have helped me grow and understand myself and my experiences more fully. My mom is one of them, along with a few other individuals with whom I have felt a powerful, soulful connection. Thankfully, a couple of them currently reside in Fort Collins, and they have been an important part of my current awakening.

This spiritual awakening has been healing, in that it has helped me integrate my spiritual past with my present experience. I believe that Mormonism provided me with a foundation for understanding the spiritual, for calling on the Divine and seeking personal guidance and direction. I had many sacred experiences within the Mormon context, which I continue to cherish and contemplate. I had been taught that if I ever departed from the "straight and narrow path" I would lose that connection to God (the Gift of the Holy Ghost), but my experience has been quite the opposite. Since accepting myself fully for who I am, I have felt an ever increasing connection to spiritual energy, and have continued to be guided, inspired, warned, and protected in amazing ways. As I continue to learn, I gain a greater appreciation for my spiritual heritage, and am thankful for it. This has been so helpful for me, since I no longer feel like I have rejected the religion of my birth, but have taken the best of what it offered me and have moved forward into the path I feel I need to travel.

I see now how I have always lived intuitively, following my feelings or the "vibes" I felt in order to navigate the world. I am currently reading Sonia Choquette's book Trust Your Vibes, which has given me a lot of insights into how to better understand spiritual energy and live a "six-sensory" life. Much of what has happened and is happening to me in the past few months is hard to explain, and sometimes might sound crazy, but I am loving the space I am in right now, and look forward to where I am going. I truly feel that this is a new and wonderful chapter in my spiritual/personal development, and I ultimately feel that my spiritual home is within me, around me, behind me, and in front of me, and that there are thrilling developments to come.

Namaste.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

psychotherapy: being on both ends

And thus I have finished my first year of graduate school. Wahoo! Only four more to go. Actually, I am looking forward to the coming years of training, and I am grateful for this past year in which I have learned and grown so much personally as well as professionally. One unique aspect of my experience this year, particularly this past semester, was being a therapist and a client simultaneously.

During our second semester, my classmates and I began seeing real clients as therapists. With quite a bit of trepidation, we each called our first clients and scheduled appointments with them. All of us were fortunate enough to see two clients each over the semester, most of whom continued in therapy for several consecutive weeks. I saw one client for twelve weeks, and another for nine. For me, it was a beautiful experience. It was so affirming to receive positive feedback about my work from my supervisor and my professor, and especially from my clients. The experience greatly increased my confidence in my choice to become a counseling psychologist, and it feels great to know that I'm already good at psychotherapy.

About the same time as I started seeing my own clients, I sought out the services of a therapist in town to deal with some of the issues going on in my personal life. That has also been a wonderful learning experience. I was already a believer in psychotherapy, as I had seen a counselor at the BYU Career and Counseling Center in 2006. That was a significantly helpful experience, and was a major factor in my choice of profession. Yet it was interesting that although I believe in therapy, and although I am a therapist now, it was still hard to finally call, make an appointment, and then open up to my therapist in our sessions. When it's personal, it's much harder, and if anything I have gained a renewed respect for the amount of risk and energy clients put into therapy, even by taking the first step and calling to make an appointment. I consider myself a pretty self-aware and insightful person, yet it has taken me a few months to finally feel like I'm getting to the heart of my concerns and issues. Thus I can respect clients by allowing them to be where they need to be, and to share what they need to share. Being both a client and a therapist has provided me with a richer perspective on both worlds, and is as useful in my training as any class or practicum could be. And now, as I embark into the world of group psychotherapy (on the giving end), I look forward to gaining further experience and insight into the therapeutic process as well as my own personal growth.

Friday, March 5, 2010

quelques pensées


Ça fait longtemps que je n'ai pas écrit sur mon blog, et ça fait même plus longtemps que je n'ai pas écrit en français, ma deuxième langue "maternelle."  Donc j'écris ceci pour moi-même seulement, et je vous assure qu’il y aura beaucoup de fautes, mais je ne retiendrai mes compétences qu’en pratiquant, même avec des fautes.  Attention, c’est parti!

La vie s’est compliquée de plus en plus cette année, depuis que je suis revenu de New York.  Mon copain a cassé avec moi le jour après mon retour, et donc c’était des larmes et la dépression pour un couple de semaines, mais enfin je me suis rétabli, pour la plupart, et bien que je sois toujours un peu fâché contre lui, et que je me sente toujours un peu blessé, je vais bien.  C’est intéressant parce que j’ai rêvé de lui plusieurs fois ces dernières semaines, et chaque rêve était chargé d’une émotion distincte, ce qui m’a montré ma propre progression intrapsychique quant à cette rupture.  Dans les deux derniers, c’était moi qui l’a refusé, et donc pour moi ça montre que je ne veux plus rien savoir de lui, vraiment.

Mais l’école va très bien.  J’ai commencé à voir des clients en tant que psychothérapeute, et je commence à faire du progrès pour ma thèse.  Ma conseillère académique est merveilleuse, et elle m’a beaucoup aidé.  Je m’entends toujours très bien avec mes camarades de classe, et nous finirons bientôt notre première année !  C’est dingue ça !

Actuellement, je me sens très bien dans ma peau.  Je me sens confiant, beau, désirable, accompli, intelligent, et béni.  Je suis chanceux d’avoir tant d’opportunités de développement professionnel et personnel, et j’ai hâte de voir ce que je vais faire et qui je vais rencontrer dans les mois qui viennent.

De plus en plus, je reconnais que c’est en écoutant mes sentiments et mes intuition que je ferai les bons choix, que je serai où je dois être, et que je deviendrai la personne que je suis.  C’est réconfortant, parce que récemment j’ai vraiment senti que je fais les bonnes choses, que ce programme d’étude est parfait pour moi, et que je suis sur la bonne piste professionnel et personnel. 

C’est tout pour maintenant, mais je devrais faire ceci plus souvent, parce que je ressens déjà la frustration par rapport à mes compétences diminuées en français.  Mais bon….c’est la vie !